Every woman in this photo has had a unique journey in becoming the woman they are today, yet they all go by the same name: Mother.
Many of them have given birth. Some of them have adopted. One of them used IVF. Some of them are foster mothers. Some of them are stepmothers. Two of them are pregnant.
Many of them have suffered infertility or miscarriages. One of them has suffered infant loss.
Some of them suffered from postpartum depression. One of them overcame a drug addiction. One of them is a single mother. Two of them were teenage mothers.
Some of them had preemies. Two of them have twins. Two of them have a child with special needs.
You cannot see their scars, neither physical nor mental. You cannot see their past or current struggles, their heartaches, their joys.
When you look at the faces of these women, you cannot see who has given birth and who has adopted. You cannot see who is an expecting mother, or who is seeking adoption through foster care. You cannot see who has twins, or who has a child with special needs.
But what you can see on their faces is more important than what you can’t: strength, pride, and fierce determination.
Becoming a Mother does not happen easily. Giving birth does not make a woman a Mother. Biology and genetics do not make a woman a Mother. Holding a baby in her arms does not make a woman a Mother.
Devotion, selflessness, and unconditional love – that is what makes a woman a Mother.
And if you are not yet a Mother, but desiring to be, I hope you find inspiration in these women’s strength and remember that your story is not over yet. ❤️
The Women Behind the Photo
I have had the wonderful opportunity of working with and getting to know these women through my photography business. Their stories have touched my heart, and as both a biological and adoptive mom myself, inspired me to put this project together.
Grab some tissues and prepare to be inspired by the stories of these incredible mothers.
Shannon (the Photographer)
I always knew I wanted to be a mother.
Even as Valedictorian of my graduating class, I had little desire to go away to college and pursue a career. I already wanted to settle down and start a family.
I got married at 20 and pregnant at 22. We were thrilled! I enjoyed every second of pregnancy, and could not wait to meet the little one growing inside me.
Within days after giving birth, I knew my mental health was not stable. I was overjoyed to have my baby in my arms, we were both physically well, breastfeeding could not have been going better – and yet I was in a fog, having acute panic attacks, and had a desire to harm myself.
So I called my doctor, who blamed lack of sleep and the baby blues, and assured me it would pass. A couple weeks later, I called again, insisting that what I was experiencing was depression. This time I ended up admitted to the ER as a psych patient and endured the most humiliating experience of my life. And STILL left without any help or medication.
Unwilling to ever experience that kind of shame again, I resolved to suffer the waves of postpartum depression in silence.
A few days before my son was six months old, we had another trial hit us: my sister-in-law unexpectedly passed away, leaving behind a three-and-a-half-year-old daughter. Without hesitation, my husband and I offered to adopt her and raise her as our own alongside our son.
Within the year, my mom discovered just how badly I was suffering with PPD, and helped me find a physician that empathized with me instead of making me feel ashamed. I began exploring medication options and attended counseling. Though I still have hard days now and then, my mental health is now in better shape than ever.
The adoption process went smoothly and my daughter quickly adapted to her new home and family structure. Trauma has left its mark on her life, but she gained a new mom, dad, and brother – not to mention Nana, Mimi, and Pap!
I have been blessed to have been able to experience pregnancy and childbirth, as well adoption, and we knew our family was quickly complete. My life revolves around my children and I would have it no other way.
Bailee
Hello, my name’s Bailee and I want to share a little of my journey to motherhood with you.
I met my husband back when I was in 9th grade and fell head over heels for him. He was the one – or so I thought, being so young. We had the young love everyone talks so much about. We dated all through high school and continued for awhile after. We both pursued our careers and lived life working full-time and never thought much of getting married or starting a family.
After I turned 21 (he’s older than me,) we decided we had different futures and wanted different things in life. He wanted a family and to settle down, I wanted to keep working and making money. Having fun with all my friends on the weekends, I didn’t have time for what he wanted and it wasn’t fair to him, so we both went our separate ways but still talked and remained friends. Almost a year later and both seeing someone new, we realized we really couldn’t live without each other and we decided to get married and settle down. In 2019, with the help of our family and friends, we had our dream wedding. It was perfect, everything I have ever dreamed my own wedding would be. Shortly after, I took an offer on a new job so I was closer to home and had more time at home to be able to be the wife my husband needed.
About 2 months after taking on an new job, we both decided to try for a baby. It took forever (or so it seemed), but on Father’s Day 2020 I finally got my positive pregnancy test! We were beyond excited; with no hesitation we told our family and friends. I was seen the next week at the doctor’s office and it was confirmed we were finally pregnant and I was about 9 weeks. Little did we know in just a few short days our world would change. I remember waking up on a Friday morning and cramping very bad. I was told it was normal and that I should just relax, but by Saturday morning I was bleeding uncontrollably. We headed to the hospital and I just knew something was very wrong. Once at the hospital they took me back for an ultrasound and I’ll never forget the doctor coming in and telling me, “I’m sorry but you are miscarrying, your body is getting rid of the baby itself so no surgery will be needed.” I was heartbroken, but my heart completely shattered when I saw my husband’s face. Something he longed for, I couldn’t seem to give him.
After we got home and went through the emotions, I decided I didn’t want to try again, in fear it would happen again. My husband agreed, and we went on with our lives. Fast forward to 2 months later, we are living life and starting to remodel our home. One morning I woke up extremely nauseous and very tired but ruled it out to just be working too much and needing a day to relax. But the next day it was the same thing, and so on. I finally got the courage to take a pregnancy test. I about died when I saw “pregnant” show up. I had such a different feeling about this pregnancy – something I didn’t seem to have with the last. At that moment everything seemed right. I rushed to my husband, who was outside, and told him. He was in tears of joy but we both didn’t know what was about to come, so we agreed to not tell anyone just yet. I had my first doctor’s appointment and they ran blood work and took me straight in for a ultrasound. I was so scared but they showed us that our little one was so healthy and had such a strong heartbeat. We decided to announce our pregnancy at 12 weeks and finally got to embrace it.
Not long after announcing, we had a scare. I started bleeding again. Off to the hospital we went, just to find out we were having twins – but one of them started to detach and we were losing that one. With a very rough high risk pregnancy, they induced me at 39 weeks. After 3 days in labor and a very rough delivery we finally had our perfect 9lb 3oz baby boy! Motherhood has been a challenge, especially being diagnosed with postpartum depression and thyroid disease. It was a very rough journey to where we are today but it was all worth it. We have a very healthy almost 1 year old boy who is our entire world and watching him grow and learn new things everyday is such a blessing. He was a true gift from God and I’m so thankful to be his “Momma.”
RaeAnne
I don’t always remember wanting to be a mom.
When I started dating my now husband, I felt the pull on my heart that some day I would want children, but we wanted to wait until we were settled in our marriage for a couple of years.
Just about 4 years ago we started trying, and I was excited! The excitement quickly wore off with each passing month that lead to a negative pregnancy test.
Fifteen LONG months of trying lead us to our first positive pregnancy test on Christmas Day 2019. We were so thrilled, and told our parents a few days before our 8 week ultrasound. During our ultrasound see saw a heartbeat, but it was very slow. The doctor assured us that everything was okay, and that we would check the heartbeat again the following week. We kept a positive outlook, and the following week we were absolutely devastated to hear that there was no longer a heartbeat. I felt crushed, but also eager to start trying again because it took so long for us to get pregnant the first time.
Fast forward to June 2020. I really started paying attention to symptoms I was noticing, and decided to get my thyroid checked out. During that appointment the doctor discovered that my thyroid numbers were very concerning, and that I was pregnant again. I started thyroid medication right away, and made an appointment with an endocrinologist to make sure we got my thyroid under control. Later that very same week I miscarried our second baby. I couldn’t believe this was happening again! Obviously we chalked both miscarriages up to my thyroid, and knew we needed to wait until my levels were under control before trying again.
In November of 2020 I fell pregnant again, and of course I thought this is the time that we will finally get our rainbow baby! Unfortunately, this was not the case. I miscarried our third precious baby just a few weeks later.
Honestly, I didn’t even want to try any more at this point. I prayed and leaned into the Lord more than ever during this time. I questioned why this was happening. I just did not understand.
After three miscarriages the doctors FINALLY were ready to do some more in depth testing to figure out what was going on. I had more vials of blood drawn than I thought possible. I had invasive testing to check my fallopian tubes, ultrasounds to check my ovaries, and we both had genetic testing done. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease, PCOS, and a Balanced Translocation (the cause of my three miscarriages). It was a lot to take in, but I felt relieved finally having answers. We took a few months to heal, knowing that with Balanced Translocation, we were likely to have more heartache.
May of 2021 I got my fourth positive pregnancy test, and we made it to 10 weeks with that sweet baby before having our hearts shattered yet again in July. I continued to lean into the Lord for comfort, and surrendered to His plan for us. We started to really think that a biological baby might not be in God’s plan for us, and that was a very tough pill to swallow.
August 2021 we were pregnant yet again…if you are struggling to keep track, this was our fifth pregnancy. Just a month later I miscarried again.
On October 12, 2021 I got my SIXTH positive pregnancy test, and we just tried to brush it off and not get too excited- that is really hard, but we knew we had to guard our hearts. Things were moving along, and when we made it past the 10 week mark I started to let myself get excited. I finally called the doctor to make an appointment. We had our first ultrasound on December 13, 2021 and for the first time we saw a healthy baby. The weight that lifted off of our chests that day is indescribable! We never thought we would make it that far, and now here we are today at 31 weeks pregnant as I write this. Our sweet girl is due on June 18, 2022.
I feel so incredibly blessed to be carrying this baby. I still feel so sad for the precious babies we didn’t get to meet, but I know they are safe in heaven until we get there someday. I struggled so much over the past almost four years, but I have deepened my relationship with God- I am grateful for that! I know that we were given this journey for a reason, and I truly hope our story can help someone else who may be struggling.
Paige
The road to motherhood isn’t how I envisioned my journey. It took my husband and I awhile to get pregnant. We suffered a miscarriage. My right ovary had to be removed due to a cyst being attached. I thought, “Is this where my journey will end?”
Flash forward many months later, we found out we were pregnant with our rainbow baby. How ecstatic we were that instead of what I thought to be our journey ending, our journey was just beginning. We saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks, a tiny baby at 12 weeks, and everything looked perfect around 23 weeks.
Two days after turning 25 weeks pregnant, I felt a big gush coming from my body. Many friends and family voiced their concerns and thought I should go to the hospital, but I thought that it can’t be my water! I’m only 25 weeks pregnant. I went to work that night and even went shopping the next day. I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling right and ventured to my bathroom where I noticed some bleeding.
I went to our local emergency room where they did confirm it was my water that had broken, and I would be taken by ambulance to a hospital an hour and a half away from my home. This was the closest place that could potentially take care of the early arrival of my baby. I spent a week in the hospital before delivering my little 2 pound 5 ounce baby girl at 26 weeks gestation.
You see, my baby was born prematurely. She spent a total of 76 days in the neonatal intensive care unit. I often times struggle to talk about my experience in the NICU because in the overall picture, we have been fortunate. Each time I bring up about my experience, people reassure me the best ways they know how: “But she’s fine now!” “You need to move on.” “Enjoy what you have!” I stopped talking about it for awhile because I felt guilty knowing others go through much worse.
I want future NICU mamas to know some things that I too wish I had known:
I see you sitting there in your hospital room alone. Broken and defeated. I too hear those cries of all those babies in the maternity ward knowing a single one of those aren’t yours. Your sweet new baby is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit not even on the same floor as your room. You haven’t even seen her yet….. just a glimpse as she was quickly whisked away. I know you’re hurting not only physically but mentally as well. You’re worried, defeated, confused. Don’t hide your emotions. When you are finally able to enter the NICU, you will be overwhelmed with tears. It’s much louder than expected. Monitors are beeping, nurses running around, babies crying from being poked and prodded. A loving, angelic nurse will come by and introduce themselves. They are in charge of telling you when you are allowed to hold YOUR baby. Can you believe it? The nurse takes your baby out of her isolette. You have held babies your entire life but suddenly don’t even remember how to hold one. There are wires and IVs everywhere. Where are you supposed to place your hands? You’ll blame yourself daily from your body not keeping your baby safe longer to even discharge day when your baby comes home with oxygen.
As your baby continues to grow, you will learn to be her mama. You will learn that it wasn’t your fault that things happened the way that they did. One day soon, you’ll look back on these times and feel nothing but appreciation for all the people, circumstances, and the miracle baby gracing their presence in this world.
Addison
Hi, I’m Addie, my daughter is Evie. This is not my story but Evie’s.
I was blessed to carry my daughter and house her for the time that I did. On April 27th of 2021 I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful little girl. I faced trial and hardship, I faced sickness and loss. My pregnancy was at best one of the hardest seasons of my life.
At 11 wks I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). I was hospitalized for almost a month, my organs started to shut down. I almost lost my baby, but not only my baby – I almost lost my life. 5 weeks later, while still having HG, I drove to Knoxville TN to visit my grandmother for the last time. I was so sick but I didn’t want her to know it. She was so in love with Evie with out even knowing her. In October of 2021 my husband and myself got COVID and we almost lost our sweet girl again.
On November 9th I got a non stress test done on my daughter… I just knew there was something wrong. The hospital discharged me and told me I was just worrying for nothing. On November 10th 2021, I was having sharp pains in my stomach, my baby wasn’t moving and I knew there was something wrong, so I went back to the hospital. The doctors and nurses continued to tell me nothing was wrong but they wanted to do an ultrasound to find out why I was in so much pain. They did a Biophysical profile ultrasound on my daughter. A healthy baby is to score 10 points on this test. My daughter scored a 2 due to not having enough fluid. In this test they found that my placenta was pulling away, and if they didn’t take my daughter via emergency c-section, we would lose her. I was 33 weeks, scared, and could no longer be in control. I remember laying there pray that God would do something to save my daughter and save me. As the C-section was happening, I went into shock and my daughter wasn’t breathing. My daughter was rushed to the NICU and the surgeon took care of me.
My daughter spent a month in the NICU. My husband and I saw our sweet girl everyday. Saw her doing amazing and saw her with her set backs. She is now 6 months old, and thriving. She is the sweetest, funniest, joyful little girl. She has to do some physical therapy to strengthen her muscles for tummy time. Throughout all of this, I can now see God in the midst of it. He protected us, he cared for us, he helped and loved us. Happy Mother’s Day from my family to yours.
Tara
In October of 2013 my husband and I welcomed our first child, Jace, into the world. The very next day, the pediatrician came into our hospital room to talk about Jace. I can still remember that conversation like it was yesterday. He told us that Jace was not measuring like other babies and that some of his facial features were abnormal. After you get news like this, your heart immediately drops to your stomach and you start telling yourself that nothing is wrong or that maybe he’ll grow out of it. The doctor referred us to Genetics at Children’s Hospital. After some blood work it was determined that Jace’s diagnosis was 9p Deletion. 9p Deletion is a very rare chromosome abnormality that occurs in 1 in 50,000 births. This chromosome abnormality can affect many parts of your body and the severity really depends on the size of the chromosome deletion. The symptoms of 9p deletion can include developmental delays, low muscle tone, distinctive facial features, heart conditions and even scoliosis.
As soon as we had the official diagnoses, we immediately started getting Jace services that would help him developmentally. Jace has been going to therapy sessions since he was four months old. He currently goes to speech, physical and occupational therapy. Our family has been blessed to have amazing therapist, teachers, van drivers, nurses and social workers working with Jace. Some of these people have become more like family to us.
Raising a child with special needs is one of the toughest jobs that I have done. You are constantly worrying about things like “who will care for my child when I am no longer here?” or “am I doing enough to help him succeed?” You also must take his special needs into consideration when going places. Where will I change him if there is no changing station? Is it stroller friendly for when he gets tired of walking? However, the most heartbreaking part about being a special needs mother is watching other kids that are the same age as Jace doing things that he struggles to do or in some cases will never be able to do.
Nevertheless, being a special needs parent has also been the most rewarding job that I have done. Watching Jace hit milestones and developmental goals is remarkable! Jace did not start walking on his own until he was almost six years old. I still remember everything about the first time I saw Jace take several steps all by himself. He only walked six to seven steps, but he was so excited and laughing so hard that he stumbled to the floor still giggling. In that moment I was so proud of him because he worked hard in therapy for years to be able to do this.
Jace has two younger siblings, Killian and Piper. They both love Jace so much and it amazes me how much they love helping their big brother. Killian will hold Jace’s hand if he is walking on an uneven surface. If Jace is requesting something by using sign language, both Killian and Piper will verbalize the word that Jace is signing. I am so glad that Killian and Piper have Jace as a brother because I can teach my children that everyone has different abilities. And whether he knows it or not, Jace is also teaching them patience, understanding, and selflessness in a world that takes much for granted.
Jace is also the most loving child that you will ever meet. He absolutely loves hugging people. We have to be careful in public because he will walk up to strangers just to hug them. Even though Jace is nonverbal, he is able to communicate through a speech generating app on an iPad. He has a great sense of humor and some of the things he says cracks me up. For instance, one morning before school I was making him a waffle and he kept pressing “waffle” on the iPad. I told him it was coming and when I sat beside him, he looked up at me and said “slow” with a huge grin on his face.
Jace has taught and will continue to teach me and those around him so much about love, life, and compassion for other people. I always think if everyone loved how Jace did, this world would be a much better place.
Tish
I’m Tish and I am 34 years old.
When I was in my early 20s, I was married and I knew I wanted kids but not for a few years of being married. After a few years we tried and tried with no luck. I had tried a few different medications prescribed by my Gynecologist and those weren’t helping us to conceive either. I remember everyone around me announcing they were pregnant and how hard it was to hear. I was extremely happy for them but it hurt at the same time.
So our next steps were to go to a fertility clinic and do testing and see our options. They started me on another medication and then we were able to do an IUI. The first one didn’t take and I was devastated and didn’t understand why this was still happening to me. The medication made me very emotional and just feel like I wasn’t in control of anything, which I hated. We did the IUIs 2 more times and both failed. I mentally couldn’t go through another one. So we stopped all the treatments and doctor visits and decided if it happened it happened.
I had endometriosis and so I always figured that was preventing me from getting pregnant even though I had surgery to remove it. All the doctors would say was that it was unexplained infertility, so I never really had anything to go off of to figure out what was happening. I mentioned adoption/fostering but he wasn’t on board for that, so I felt like nothing was ever going to happen for me.
Fast forward to my 30s, I got divorced and found myself again and I got into a relationship with an amazing man. I told him how I wasn’t sure I could have children and he was ok with it and on board with doing whatever we had to in the future to have children. I remember sitting in our Christmas Eve church service and hearing “I haven’t forgotten about you.” And I was like “ok, I see you and I’m leaving it in your hands now.”
Just a few weeks into the new year my period was late. I didn’t get my hopes up because I was used to having tests be negative. So a week later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. So many emotions after seeing that positive pregnancy test. We were both so excited that we were starting a family. This was the hardest secret of my life to keep, mostly because we were surrounded by my family for my grandpa’s funeral and I couldn’t even share my excitement with them. Something I waited 10 plus years for, and I had to wait to spill the beans! The only person who knew besides the doctors was Shannon! I’m pretty sure everyone in the family knew something was up when she would cry every time she looked at me, LOL.
A few weeks into my pregnancy I was bleeding one evening and it felt like the world around me stopped as we drove to the hospital to get checked. After all the blood work and ultrasounds everything looked fine, thankfully! The rest of the pregnancy was smooth sailing and we welcomed our miracle Hazel Alta 3 weeks early and she was a beautiful healthy baby! Looking back at everything I went through I know God was doing every thing so I wouldn’t take any of this time for granted and would appreciate what I had so much more!
Jessie
My journey to motherhood is long and has yet to be completed.
While I have mothered and cared for over 15 children, none have been mine to keep. I still don’t feel I have earned the title mother, and feel like an imposter at times.
For years I suffered from severe pain, hospital stays and failed fertility treatments until we had answers to what was going on. I had severe endometriosis, so severe that the doctor at Cleveland clinic told me I was one of her top ten worst cases. I lost my gallbladder, both Fallopian tubes, 2 feet of my colon, and my appendix over 5 surgeries to this disease – as well as countless days and weeks in hospitals.
After spending $20,000 on fertility treatments we decided to move on to adoption. Another $20,000 just to get started. We have been open to any race, gender or health problems with a baby and have been waiting for three years.
Then we moved on to foster care. This has brought beautiful children into our lives, but it has not been without its own difficulties. Foster care is probably the single most emotionally draining and difficult thing we have done next to fertility treatments. Both paths are full of high highs and low lows as well as so much uncertainty.
Please don’t tell people to just “adopt” because it’s no where near as easy as it may seem. Please don’t tell someone a story about how a friend of friend got pregnant after they adopted. I physically cannot get pregnant without IVF, if I ever could. Surrogacy costs about $80,000 and we have been blessed enough to look to that opportunity. International adopting costs approximately $50,000. I point out cost because when someone says “just adopt” or just use a “surrogate,” they rarely know what they are saying. That not only are all of the options financially costly, but very time consuming and emotional rollercoasters. If you know someone struggling, just listen or offer to be there as a support!
While my road to motherhood is not over, I hope to feel more permanent, secure and deserving of the title “mom” when our adoptions are finalized. But I feel some part of me may always question my role, when strangers ask “are they all yours?” Or “you gave birth to all of them?!” While giving birth is an amazing miracle, being alive and generally healthy is a miracle for my body. Let’s not base a woman’s worth on what her body can or can’t do, but who and how her heart can love and care for. Everyone’s road to motherhood is so different but rewarding! Help celebrate a mother you know just by letting her know you see her and all that she is doing!
Maria
As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mom.
I was married once before but it just never happened for us. I watched all my friends, my brother’s wife, and my sister have kids and just really wished I could have a baby too. I wanted my nieces and nephews to have a little cousin to grow up with. Fast forward some time, I got remarried. Started trying right after we started dating to get pregnant. Got the testing redone and all the bloodwork, etc. Started metformin, and thyroid pills, femara, clomid. Cycle after cycle, always doing the ovulation tests, lots of waiting and it still happened. My sister in law got pregnant right away, and I was happy for her, but sad for me because I wanted to be the one pregnant too! I was told by some family that I changed once they had children because I was always trying to get pregnant myself. Well that really hurt. I thought they would understand the need I had deep inside of me to be a mom and for my husband to be a dad. But apparently they had no understanding of this at all.
Then we started looking into our options. IUI, IVF and all the shots, and private adoption agencies were out of the question. Just too expensive and we did not have that kind of money. Then I happened to stumble across info for lifespan. I have always seen the signs around, so I called and got some more information and we waited for one of the caseworkers to come to our house to talk to us so we could get some information. We decided this is what we wanted to do. We would adopt thru foster care. We got certified and we were waiting for the call. But as we know how foster care works, reunification is always the goal. After three years we finally got the call that we would be able to adopt the baby we got last year right out of the nicu and we couldn’t be happier. We just sent a sibling group of 3 brothers home this year, so we started looking into older kids that were available for adoption. Last year we got our adoption certification, hoping it would lead us in the right direction as we just wanted to provide a permanent home for a child and fulfill that need as well as fill the need in our hearts. So we started looking into adoptpa.org and searching profiles hoping for a match. In the meantime just recently we got told of a special boy 8 years old that needed a permanent home. They have been looking for weeks and no one would say yes to him. Well it didn’t take us long to decide that he would become part of our family and we can’t wait for him to join us after school is out for the year.
We are so excited and can’t wait for the baby’s adoption to go through this year. We’re hoping to hear from the judge that this other boy coming to live with us will have his goal changed to adoption and for tpr (termination of parents’ rights) to happen so we can adopt him too. Our family will be complete. Maybe in the future if either kiddos’ mother would end up pregnant, we would definitely in a heartbeat welcome that baby into our lives too. Getting the baby was a dream come true. He was a 28 weeker, spent 3 months in the nicu and got released from the hospital and came to live with us. I’ve gotten to be there for all his first, couple hospital stays and so much more. I have loved being his mom. I can’t wait to see what the future holds and change these kids’ last name to ours and we can start moving forward as Overlys. Looking forward to when we can be done with all the caseworkers and endless paperwork and just focus on our family. But I wouldn’t trade what we have done for anything since it us lead us to where we are now.
Liana
Like any other little girl I always loved the idea of having my own family.
I was constantly playing house with my friends and always had a baby doll near by. One thing I never expected was for all of that to happen so soon. A month after turning 17 I was trying on a dress for my junior prom. When we had purchased the dress it had fit perfectly. This time, while putting on the dress it took 2 of us to zip it up. I was frustrated and didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. My mom had suggested that I take a pregnancy test the next day just to make sure, because it was strange for me to have gained that much weight within 3 weeks. When I took a test it came back positive and I was terrified.
The next day me and my boyfriend got into a minor car accident but decided to go to the hospital anyway just to make sure everything was okay. While there, the doctor asked me how far along I though I might be and when I answered ‘maybe 3 months’ he was shocked. After asking me to try again I replied that the only time before that would have been 8 months. He said that was a more accurate answer. At that point I was in a full panic, knowing I had only 4 weeks before my life changed forever.
I went almost an entire pregnancy without a single symptom other than the occasional Taco Bell craving. I played softball through months 5 and 6 and even went to a trampoline park in April. And had zero prenatal care until 3 weeks before he was born. Despite not having any prenatal care, I ended up having my perfect son Dylan 3 weeks later on June 22, 2021. And funny enough, his aunt was born just 15 hours before him.
He has been the biggest blessing and I would not trade my experience for the world.
Tabitha
A little on my mommy journey.
For me it all started when I was a little girl. I knew the only thing I wanted to be whenever I grew up was a mom. Anytime anyone would ask me “what do you want to be when you grow up?” my reply was always a mommy. I didn’t know how many kids I wanted to have but I knew I wanted a lot.
I was just graduating cosmetology school and I wasn’t in the best of relationships so at this time I wasn’t trying for a baby, but after repeatedly coming to work sick my friend had asked me to take a pregnancy test. As much as I told her I knew I wasn’t pregnant – surprise, I was. When I was just 32 weeks pregnant I went into preterm labor with my son. The doctors at labor and delivery did the best they could to try to stop my labor, but that only lasted a week, and I had my tiny 3 lb 6 oz beautiful baby boy at 33 weeks. He was in the NICU for a long 46 days. When he was a month and a half old I was finally able to bring him home. As I said, I wasn’t in the best relationship, and that relationship did not work out. When my son was only 5 months old his father and I split up.
After a year or so I would meet my daughter’s father. This relationship was better, but I still wasn’t trying for a baby and found myself pregnant with my daughter. Again, I had horrible morning sickness the whole time. This time I had gestational diabetes but she was full term: a 6 lb 9 oz beautiful baby girl. I in turn got my tubes tied because at that point, I had two children to two different fathers, and a lot of people look down on me for that. So to avoid the judgment and the ridicule from anyone else I had my tubes tied. This was really hard for me because I didn’t want to be done with my mom journey. I knew I wanted more kids more than anything but since I couldn’t stay in a successful relationship I figured it was best. When my daughter was almost two her father and I split up.
After a few short months I was unknowingly set up on a blind date, who turned out to be my future husband. Neither one of us knew what was about to happen. I did not want to go out that night. I repeatedly asked to go home. I didn’t want to be out, but after a while this guy showed up and the night became a lot more interesting. We started dating, and after 14 months we were married.
After a few years of being married we decided that we wanted more kids. But my tubes were tied, so we began the journey to fixing my tubes, which took us down to Raleigh, North Carolina. We had had the tubal ligation reversal, and after 2 months we were able to start trying to get pregnant. Unfortunately, we wouldn’t see a positive pregnancy test for a year and even though we had agreed that we weren’t going to tell anyone when we got pregnant, we were so over the moon excited that when we finally got that positive pregnancy test we told everyone. There wasn’t an ear left untold and then a few short days later I started to cramp and bleed we headed to the hospital knowing the fate of the pregnancy but still holding on to that shred of possibility that it wasn’t really happening. At the hospital it was confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I was devastated. I healed up without needing surgery and was able to start trying for a baby again the month after.
Again, we wouldn’t see a positive test for a year. This time we knew better than to tell everyone. Right around the same time as the first I started to experience the same cramping and bleeding. We headed to the hospital knowing the fate. How could I have two children without even trying and now my body was failing me? I was broken. Although I had two children of my own, my husband had none of his own. Thinking at that time I would never be able to give him any of his own made the depression worse. IVF was now our only option but it was also so far out of the question. We knew we’d never be able to afford it, and unable to carry a baby myself, my child bearing days were over.
The next year was so hard. We never stopped trying but my heart was no longer into it. Each month we’d go through the motions, each month hoping for a different outcome. But there was always only one line on the pregnancy test. Then my husband began to research.
We came across this little place in Syracuse, New York that was about to turn our life around. This place was for people like us who wanted to expand their family but medically were unable to and the cost of IVF was too much. CNY fertility made it possible to hope again, and after we went through all the testing, all the poking and prodding, and the constant blood work, we were able to start our IVF journey. Up to five shots a day when we were doing the egg retrieval. We left there with a whole new look. I had only made nine eggs! Were any of my eggs going to work out for us? In a few days we would get a call that seven of the nine eggs fertilized and six of the nine eggs matured, giving us six viable embryos. As the doctors suggestion, I waited a month for the hormones to go back to normal and then the day came for the embryo transfer. We decided to transfer two embryos. After having almost 5 years of infertility, two miscarriages and 90% of all the first IVF cycles fail, we were hopeful that one of the embryos would stick.
Then came more shots and medication. I just couldn’t get through that two week wait fast enough. They tell you not to test at home but I couldn’t wait. I took that first test and there was a very faint positive, but I knew that faint positive meant miscarriage. I also knew it could be the hormones they were pumping me full of, trying to keep my pregnancy. Everyday I would test and the lines started to darken. I couldn’t help it but get my hopes up. I had to go for my blood work. I was so excited because I already knew I was pregnant. The call coming from the center seemed to take forever but it finally came, the congratulations of pregnancy followed.
More blood work every two days, and my numbers were strong, my numbers were high. Could it be that both of the embryos had stuck? Within the days to follow we would find out that we were pregnant with twins. Then a whole new fear was opened up. With my age and a multiple pregnancy I was considered high risk. Baby B developed a subchorionic hematoma. I would bleed from the time I was 10 weeks until I was 20 weeks every day. The fear lingering in the back of my head of another miscarriage – how could it be, how could my body fail me again? Why wouldn’t my body just let me do what it was meant to do? At all the doctors’ visits the heart rates were so strong, the babies were so healthy.
At almost 36 weeks, I was then diagnosed with preeclampsia. I was sent to the hospital for 24-hours to check my protein in my urine and keep watch over my blood pressure. It would only be 12 hours later my water would break. I made it to 36 weeks exactly. At 10:00 in the morning I was wheeled down to the or and I brought two healthy babies into this world. Baby A, a boy 5 lb even and Baby B, a girl 4 lb 13 oz. I had done it! Finally after all this time! It was a week and a half stay in the NICU for my baby girl and a two week stay in the NICU for my son. We were all home together: 16-year-old, 11-year-old, my brand new twins – life was good. The twins were wonderful.
After a year we decided we wanted one more child to complete our family so again we started with the shots and medication. Our IVF embryo transfer was a success. The worrying started again. Although my pregnancy was high risk again, thankfully the pregnancy was very uneventful. I was 37 weeks when I delivered a healthy 7 lb 9 oz beautiful baby girl to complete our family.
Alena
As I have moved through life there are several shifting points. Meeting and marrying my husband tuned me back into understanding that we can recognize each other on a soul level. And that there are many paths, but one destination. After I met him in the way we did I could see that there would have been other paths to meeting him if I hadn’t acted on the first opportunity. He balances me out perfectly, even though we can butt heads since we are both stubborn. We are both loyal and would do anything for those we care about. He is steadfast in himself and is not worried what others think. He has a love for the land and outdoors that inspires me to get out in all weather. He reminds me that I am smart and beautiful and capable as often as I need it. And I remind him to be silly and laugh more, to be gentler and softer. We have been through many ups and downs, but always come out stronger. He is the perfect partner for me and is now the best father for our kids.
The birth of each of my children transformed me in different ways.
Issadora came into the world at 35 weeks, the first grandchild on both sides. I moved from magical thinking into practical, boots on the ground figure it out mentality. She opened me to motherhood and all of the blessings and challenges that brings. She is so strong in what she believes. Her creative mind is astounding. At almost 13, we have now moved into enjoying each other’s company. We share a love of true crime podcasts, graveyards and history. We’ve taken two amazing trips with just the two of us, one to Salem and another to visit family in Cali and they were both amazing.
Jacob taught me to explore what was truly important to me. We took natural childbirth education courses and bucked the norm. It taught me to advocate and stand strong. His birth allowed us to heal the ways we had been victimized during Issadora’s birth and NICU stay. And we successfully exclusively breastfed for 2.5 years, a major feat as another NICU baby. Jacob talks with the Angels and animals, he calls it their spiritual voice. He reminds me to slow down and how to stay centered and grounded. He views the world in such a different way and reminds me to always expand my perspective.
Ian, Ian, Ian. He was our planned homebirth, surprise breech. I really struggled with PPA and PPD after his birth. Matt went back to working and living on the road a week after. To run every aspect of a household solo, run a side business and maintain sanity….not great for well being. But from those ashes I learned what I needed to care for myself, to be truly whole mentally, emotionally, physically, which is a lifetime work in progress. Ian is all in, all the time and is not swayed by others’ opinions or feelings. He is so kind and thoughtful and gives the best hugs. He helps remind me to be better at all of those things too!
As we neared 40, Matt was moved to part time and he was looking for a new line of work and was living back at home. We decided to try for a 4th baby. We weren’t sure because we had had a very early miscarriage in 2019, but were hopeful. Sure enough, in April 2020 we found out that we were expecting with a December baby. We were very excited and did a fun Friends theme announcement. We planned another homebirth and decided not to find out what gender we were having. Everything went well! I went into the pregnancy in the best shape of my life, but had a lot of major hip pain and anxiety. Looking back I think I knew on a soul level that once the baby arrived, they would be leaving. That the pain was coming from holding on so tightly. As we labored at home it was so hard. I’ve been through it 3 times and this was feeling so different. We had woken up that morning to one of our cats having died and the kids were so devastated. I now believe that Zia left before to lead the baby’s soul. I had already been in labor but didn’t want to tell the kids just yet. But since things were progressing so quickly I called the midwife and photographer right away. But then things just seemed to stall. I was working so hard but he, (because he was breech we found out it was a boy), just didn’t progress. We decided to transfer to the hospital because of exhaustion. There was never any distress detected during the labor. We were just expecting to go to have the baby. When we got there the doctor cut an episiotomy and pulled him out and I said “put him on me.” But then the emergency team stepped in. I just kept looking at Matt saying “O my God, what is happening, why isn’t he breathing?” Because of the episiotomy and tear I had to endure massive stitching while we watched them work on the baby. But he never took a breath. Matt looked at me and asked what was that name I wanted? It was Bodhi, meaning spiritual enlightenment.
As we have navigated losing a child the emotions are hard to even describe. I feel that it was like a Near Death Experience as he died within me and a part of me died that day too.
The spiritual enlightenment is exactly what Bodhi did for me. It has moved into an even greater flow with my purpose and journey for this lifetime. I was reminded to be and stay present, especially with my family. I have acknowledged and grown in seeing the signs, symbols and synchroncities that our loved ones are always trying to show us, but now they are unmistakable and cannot be explained in any other way. It has been truly beautiful.
The outpouring of love and support from our families, our community, the kids’ schools, the nurses and hospital staff, our birth team, long lost friends, complete strangers has been the balm for my bruised soul.
I believe that we make Soul contracts before we get here to learn the lessons to grow and expand our souls. This doesn’t make the difficult lessons any easier, but it does help me look for the ways to grow and expand, to find the blessings and how to use it to help others.
Several years ago I did a past life session for myself and went to a life where my current husband was my husband then and we had two children that died. But in that life we turned away from each other and withdrew into ourselves, away from life and withered away. Even though I explored that life several years ago I have found myself calling on these memories to remember to take care of myself and our family and to come together. As we explore the past lives that are the journey of our one soul it can help us in so many different ways.
One of my very favorite pieces of my life is hiking with my kids and dogs. It’s always an adventure, something to whine about and something to celebrate. The kids remind me to slow down and admire nature and the simple things in life. We started with a goal of hiking one time a week all summer when Jacob was at the age of being in the baby carrier and walking some on his own. We have continued every summer since. Each kid then transitioned to carrying their own pack with water and snacks. They have hiked some big trails and sometimes we only make it a mile or two. They love water crossings and waterfalls the most, but can find anything to get excited about! We added paddleboarding and kayaking during the pandemic summer. I often remind them they can do hard things when the going gets tough. I was looking forward to baby wearing again with Bodhi this summer, but we will now gather nature items and make mandalas in his memory after each hike. I try to breathe in each moment and accept it as it is. To look for the changes that need made or where I can be in flow and let go a little more. To look for the signs, symbols and synchroncities from our loved ones, angels, our deceased animal friends and the universe. My kids, my animals and nature remind me of these lessons daily.
Denise
My motherhood journey has been quite the trip, all directed and orchestrated by God in ways I never saw coming.
It started with 2 VERY naive 19 and 20 yrs olds who were so incredibly in love and had life all figured out. We knew we wanted a lot of kids, my husband used to joke that he wanted a football team. We even talked that we would be that couple who would hit menopause and end up with the oops baby or adopt from China or another foreign country.
August 14, 1993, we miscarried our first child. It was the day before our one year wedding anniversary. It broke our hearts. A year later on Aug. 20, 1994, our oldest daughter Rachael was born. She was perfect. She walked early, talked early, and seemed so easy to parent. She was everything we wanted. Having her eased the pain but it never goes away.
We had success so let’s have another! We have this parenting down! So March 6, 1996, we welcomed Anna to our family and with her came a different rule book. Apparently, with this make and model the old parent’s guide was no longer operational. She is independent and knows what she wants. And what SHE wants is EVERYTHING we don’t!! Lot’s of prayer was added to our lives and we learned how to love our determined self reliant daughter. She has become general managers of various restaurant chains, I believe, because she doesn’t like being told what to do! It has served her well to be true to herself.
Joe joined the army when Anna turned two and that added another element to parenting. Now it was parenting with a part time partner. While he was away at training, I once again miscarried. I felt like such a failure. Then Feb 11, 1999, Jacob was born. I suffered from depression after Jacob was born. Jacob was a very sick child. He had lots of ear infections. He was delayed in speaking, walking, and talking. He also had croup and was often taken to the hospital in the middle of the night with a distressing cough struggling to breath. Sometimes Joe would be there to leave the kids with, but sometimes I would call another military mom to sit with the girls.
My depression grew worse. It was really hard to deal with and required medication and counseling to handle it. We decided to not have any more kids. This made me very sad and in a lot of ways made me feel like a failure as a mom because I couldn’t have the big family we dreamed of. My husband, Joe, was serving in the army at Ft. Sill Oklahoma during this time. Most of my kids’ childhood was spent moving from Oklahoma, to Alabama, and back to Oklahoma. That was the WORLD adventure that we saw while he served. He was deployed to Iraq twice and decided that this isn’t how he wanted to raise his kids, so after 10 years he left the service to be a preacher…That is a well paid, competitive, in demand job!! And God could you make it closer to family? Well, God got him a youth minister position 2 hours from one parent and 1 ½ from the other. The kids were able to graduate there and have family…but there was still something missing…
A lady at our church was director of a foster care agency. Some of the foster care families were coming to our church. We wanted to help by babysitting or keeping them overnight to give them a break. Well, you had to be certified to do that. So we became licensed and had our first placement waiting for us the day we got our license. Our children were all in Jr. High and High school and it was challenging. The youth kids became our kids. Our home was always a place to hang out. With our own kids, adopted kids, forgein exchange students, and foster kids, we have had 22 kids in our home over the years. It stressed my family, bonded us, and showed us to rely on God. We had kids that we thought were deaf because they wouldn’t speak, a teenager threatened to shoot up my house, a teenager sneaked out of the house to, “see if it is raining in the neighbor’s yard.” So much hurt and pain.
The 3 Chocolate kisses in the picture were once these kids. Living in a house condemned, no running water, fending for themselves, without supervision. They were 2, 3, and 4 when they first came to us. When they were finally up for adoption we knew this was the missing part. Part of that football team.
Samantha, age 12, plays the sax and first base and basketball and can’t wait for track. She can run like the wind. She also has the most tender heart.
Kayla is 11 and SPUNKY is her word. She loves babies and just wants to be a mama. She likes makeup, slime, shaving cream, mud, paint, anything that is messy. She loves to fish and sing songs and dance! She will be on a dance show when she grows up.
Joshua is 10 and likes baseball and basketball. He loves being in the water and swimming. I think he is part fish. He is also tender-hearted and easy going.
One little boy that I had at the same time as them was this boy, Noah. He was 2 at the time. He clicked with my family. He wasn’t shy, he was very talkative, and he and Josh were “brothers.” After almost a year we were asked to take his 2 brothers also. We couldn’t handle the issues one of them was having and so we turned them down. This made them find a home for all 3 to be together, so after 9 months Noah left our home and we didn’t get to see him any more. A year and a half later, some stuff came up and the agency was needing placement for him again and we got to keep him for adoption. God worked it out and we became his forever family. It was a miracle because I never thought that dream would come to pass. He is our quirky son. Noah is 9 and he sees everything as black or white, right or wrong. He has no filter and as a question pops in his head he says it. You never know where a conversation will end up with him. Keeps things interesting.
As I sit here today, I am the mother to 7 beautiful kids and I am incredibly proud to be their mama. I have the bigs and the littles, or litter 1 and litter 2, and it is a blessing to watch the older kids help with the littles. I love seeing them tell the younger kids “Mom wouldn’t let us do that either.” “Once dad and mom did….”
Can I just say God writes the BEST stories. He took a naive 19 & 20 year old and grew a family! God planted the seeds long ago in our hearts for these kids so when they came we were ready to be their family.
A couple of years ago God revealed to me something about my miscarriages. A foster mom of a boy who had substantial medical needs was dying and he had never walked, was tube fed, never spoke, and yet he was so loved and wanted. I remember telling her “Joya, Chase’s first words will be to Jesus! His first steps will be on streets of Gold! How AWESOME for Him!” I know, however, the fight that this boy had endured in his 13 years of life. She had only had him since he was 4 and it was overwhelming and burdensome and difficult. God shared that my miscarriages were His mercy. To know that I have a precious one waiting for me to one day hold keeps me focused. God was merciful to not let me watch my baby suffer and struggle with life. I wasn’t restrained by the limitations of their care. God knew the plan He had for me. His plans are always perfect.
Salina
I’m Salina and I am 39 years old.
Never in a million years did I ever think I would be a mom let alone a mother of 4 with a set of twins!
My motherhood journey began when I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. To say I was surprised is an understatement. I was on birth control and had no intentions on ever becoming a mom. I had so many mixed feelings and was told by my family how my life was now over. Little did I know my life was just beginning. When my daughter was born and I became a mom, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.
My son was born almost 5 years later and I thought my family was complete. At the age of 33, my life took another turn as I became a single mom. While it was never my expectation to be a single parent, I also knew it was for the best.
When I was 36 I unexpectedly met the most amazing man, on a rare night out, when dating was the absolute last thing on my mind. I had gone back to school, was working 2 jobs, had 2 kids, and had no time for a personal life. When I told him I had no interest in dating, his exact words were “That’s ok, I have the rest of my life to win you over.” I rolled my eyes and laughed. It took 6 months, but he stuck to his word and won not only me, but my kids over as well.
We found out we were expecting on May 5, 2021 and were so excited. The excitement doubled on June 9th when we found out we were having identical twins! I was fortunate to have an easy and relatively uneventful pregnancy. We welcomed our girls Kaylee Jo and Kynzlee Jane to the world on December 9, 2021. They were born at 35 weeks and Kaylee weighed 4lbs 13oz and Kynzlee weighed 3lbs 10oz. We were very lucky that both girls did not need a NICU stay and were able to come home from the hospital with us.
I am blessed to now be the mom of a 16 year old, a 12 year old, and 5 month old twins and I couldn’t imagine having a better life.
Breeanna
Ive always wanted to be a mom. Ever since I can remember I’ve had doctors and nurses telling me it would be hard for me to conceive.
I’ve always had irregular periods as well as cysts and follicles on my ovaries.
I went through some things as a teen that left me with ptsd and anxiety. I was on medication for it since I was 14. I got married at a young age and moved out of state away from my family and friends. I thought he was the one. Turns out I was very wrong. We tried to conceive and it never happened. Long story short I came to my senses and my best friend came to Colorado to pick me up and bring me home. I was very depressed and having a hard time dealing with everything so I turned to drugs to ease the pain. Heroin was my escape. I went into a dark hole for about a year. Got clean from that. But was still fighting my demons so I tried meth. Thought “this one’s not as bad. I’ll be fine. I’ll be able to control it”.
Fast forward 3 years later. I was still doing that same drug, just hiding it better. Devon and I had become the best of friends. We fought a lot but looking back now I know why. He knew about my drug use but not to the extent that it was. I did slow down quite a bit. Only doing it every so often.
Devon and I had moved in together and became serious. We tried to get pregnant and when it wasn’t happening I thought “ok the doctors were right. I guess it isn’t meant to be. I’m not meant to be a mom.” I gave up. I wasn’t taking very good care of myself. Not eating healthy. My relationship was falling apart. I had enough. I didn’t want to live my life that way anymore. I was gonna get clean and make some changes.
I stopped using and got sober. 3 hard months go by and I notice I’ve gained some weight. My breasts were bigger and a little sore. There’s no way. It couldn’t be. I took 4 tests before I finally believed it. But there it was. Two lines. Positive. I was pregnant.
I was terrified. We weren’t in a good place for this to happen now. He got home from work and I showed him the tests. He cried with joy.
I had a good healthy pregnancy. My relationship was healthy again. God truly blessed me. I didn’t think life could get any better. Nine months later I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy. It was the best day of my life. We got married and bought a house. I’m still sober and living my best life! It wasn’t easy but I take it day by day and each day my son gives me a reason to smile. He is my reason to wake up every day and stay sober. My reason to change. He pushes me every day to become a better person. For him. For us. For my family. I still have bad days but nothing like I used to. We’re growing together, every day and I wouldn’t change it for the world. God has a plan. Never give up.
Yes, I have a past, but don’t we all? It doesn’t matter how you got there. We’re all doing our best and we’re badasses for doing it!
Kelcey
For me, motherhood started in the non traditional way.
For me it was by choice, not by blood. I fell in love with a man who had a child to a previous relationship. As our relationship grew, my time and love grew for his son. His mother was not in the picture very much, and he was just over a year old when we started seeing each other. He eventually called me mommy and I raised him full time. His father worked a lot and we didn’t see him much. So it was just him and I together. His father and I eventually got married. And I raised my step son as my own.
After a few months of trying, we got pregnant and were over the moon excited to meet our new little one. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant I also found out our marriage was on the rocks. I had a relatively easy pregnancy; I think God knew I couldn’t handle any more heartache at the time, and I delivered a beautiful baby boy at 41 weeks. Shortly after delivering we were sent to Children’s Hospital where he was labeled “failure to thrive” and they thought he’d need emergency surgery. This was such a scary time, but looking back I can see God was there holding my baby the whole time. Without explanation, all scans came back clean and they held us there for a week to ensure his growth.
After releasing us, life at home just got harder. My only light during this period was my newborn child, and by the time Rylan was 3 months we moved out and I continued to get my step son regularly for an additional year. After some time God heard my heart and sent me a companion. He was kind, hard working, loved God, and loved his children. After learning we both had similar past pain in our previous marriages, our bond became stronger.
Over the course of this next year the time I was allowed with my step son became less and less. My new husband and I got married and just at that time my step son was taken from me for good. There were no goodbyes or explanations, and the pain my heart still holds is unbearable at times. My first child, though he was not by blood, but by choice, is gone. I pray for him every day, that he can just feel my love from afar.
During this loss I did gain two beautiful step children. A boy and a girl. And even though it’s different than my first, it’s such a blessing. This young man is whitey and has such a sense of humor. But he is also kind, and compassionate. And our sweet Macy reminds me so much of her mother but also myself in ways… she loves the sport that I love and we share something truly special. I am beyond blessed to say we are able to display a very healthy coparenting relationship with their mother, from zoo trips together to just sharing the responsibilities of all the children, mine included.
So to finally wrap this all up, my journey to motherhood holds some heartache, joy, loss, and then joy again. My heart will always be missing the peice I gave to my first. And I’m so thankful for my biological son who truly has shown me how to parent and love. And I’ve been able to use that knowledge, coming forward into the role of step mom. I’m also so very thankful that their mom can love my son too and we can call each other friends as we navigate this crazy life with the the children that hold us all together.
Julie
I’m Julie, I’m 27 years young. I’m a Certified Medical Assistant and Phlebotomist. Here is my story on being a single mom.
I conceived my beautiful baby girl when I was only 15 years old. I remember my very first appointment; the nurse pulled me into the room and told me I was pregnant. The next words out of her mouth were “let’s talk abortion.” I was astounded! Judgment right off the bat, not only “single mom” but “teen mom.” Long story short, I delivered her only 4 days after my 16th birthday. I had many who looked down on me, teachers, adults, the stranger walking down the aisle at the store staring, even my “friend’s” parents. Other students in school talked about about me. Within a short time I seen my small group of friends fade. I’ve heard “you’ll never make it anywhere,” & “You are throwing your life away.”
Within the months after having my daugher it became apparent that I was going to be a single mom. I was determined to prove everyone wrong. I had a full time job within the first 3 months of having her. I continued school with honors. I advanced to management position within a short time of employment. I was renting my own house at 17, and spending all other time with her. Like most, I wanted my family together. I tried, kept going back. Little did I know that was the worst thing I could have ever done. For privacy of my daughter I won’t share her story but I permanently became a single mom to her for life, when she was 2. I received full primary and full physical custody.
I later graduated with all my classmates. I waved and smiled at everyone in the crowd that ever looked down on me as well as the few that cheered me on since day one as I crossed the stage and received my diploma. I continued being a single mom, day & night, week days & weekends, holidays & sick days, all 365 days a year. Every day, it was me, my responsibilities, my daughter, just the two of us. I had days I was exhausted, depressed, PTSD, insomnia. I just took it day by day. At the end of each and every day I always had at least one amazing reason to smile which is what got me through the days. She loved me no matter what when I needed it the most.
When she was 3.5 I found myself with what I thought was my prince charming. I had my son in 2015. Within the biggest heartache 6 months later, I again became a single mother. There is nothing more than a pure child’s innocent love. When I thought I could not go on, they are always my reason to keep going. My children think I teach them but all these years, they really have been teaching me. I continue to learn new things daily with them. They make me go farther, push myself. I’ve done things that I probably would of never done without them in my life.
I graduated college with 2 certifications, bought a brand new car off the lot, and a house of our own by the age of 24. I have 9 years in being a single mom. Years of memories with them, good and bad. So many heart touching ones that you dream of when you’re I pregnant, from watching them learn to walk and talk, to learning to read and ride a bike. Before you know it they are wearing your shoes acting just like you! Being a single mom to a boy you have to teach them all the manly things that a dad is to do. I’ve taught him to build things, dig holes, fish, play & watch sports, and get dirty. Thoughout the day they bug me to jump on the trampoline, bringing out my inner child. Reminding myself that life is short, my kids give me the best of days even when it’s chaotic. My children made me who I am today. Strong, independent, thriving, and a go-getter.
My statement is, it’s not the age of the mother, it’s the person themselves! A single parent isn’t someone that has weekends off because the child is with the other parent. A single parent is defined as a person bringing up a child or children without a partner. All children are beautiful and I couldn’t imagine life without mine. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Let them underestimate you and push yourself and you’ll continue to come out on top! I believe God put this road to me as I wouldn’t have thrived as much as I did if I wasn’t a single mom. One day I do wish to have a family. Until then it’s just the 3 of us ♡